I was an only child for many, many years. Not until I married did my mother and her new husband have children. I was lonely in that way. I always wanted lots of children. Fast forward, I am now 40 years old and have five children, ranging in ages from almost 18 to 8 months. As I struggle through the day, I feel I did disservice to these little ones. It is hard to fill each one up. My husband is not home much, he works a lot. I felt compelled to go the Quiverfull path, with our children. Not using birth control and just welcoming them as they come. Since reading Anastasia, I feel I wronged them. I love them all. I try to natural parent, we home-school. I am always there for them. I rarely leave them with sitters and such. I sleep with them, and breastfeed them.
Then there is the issue of sexuality between husband and wife. I see, vividly what Anastasia refers to, being slaves to the instant gratification. I want what she describes, that co-creation and not *needing* sex. If it were just me, I would be just fine with that. But husbands who were not brought up this way, want more. They want sex like Vladamir did. If I came into the relationship that way, how does one evolve?
I have only read book 1. I cannot afford book 2 or any other for several weeks. I am left hanging. I wanted to jump over to book 3 and go back to 2 later as it seems like it has more about parenting and such. Also book 8 looks like that as well....
But, how does one go on? Living in the society we do, and trying to find the light? Raising children as they are meant to be raised?
Any insight would be wonderful.
There is always time - specially now that you have small children, they will benefit more of your new perception in Life. You have more time with them still you can benefit your other children, maybe your older will like to read the books! And, yes, husbands are husbands, but I am sure you can get into some common ground with him. Maybe if he reads the book it will help. But this sexuality view was hard to accept even for me at first, it might take some time. Be patient and pour Love always towards them!
If you really want the books, I can help you. Take a look on your messages =D
My best to you and your family =D